On the journey to taking back my life, I discovered that while I thought I was looking good and doing pretty well, I was, in fact heading for a fall.
The truth about what was really happening in my life presented itself in various ways. When I could no longer hide behind the carefully-constructed image of who I wanted you to see, my relationships, my work, my finances, my life began to suffer.
Self-gratification–immediate satisfaction, with no long-range focus. There was a long, long time of hurt behind the actions that was part of my low self-esteem.
Everything I did was to make me look good or feel good.
When I was engaging in temporary ways to find pleasure or to soothe and comfort me from pain—mostly emotional–I was anxious and depressed all the time. That’s what happens when we operate from ego and low self-esteem. Our focus is always on right here, right now.
My beliefs–the false and unhealthy ones–protected me from having to do what was right–what God wanted for me. I could rationalize and justify any behavior.
Learning right thoughts, right action, right behavior; finally living with a new perspective changed my entire life! A life-time of living with low self-esteem, fear, and addiction called for a new way of living.
How did this happen? First, I had to hit the proverbial bottom. I had to get into enough pain to see that how I was living wasn’t working. Hopeless-and wanting-to-die pain.
Then I had to get help because I didn’t know how to change.
“We are called to live the truth of our uniqueness.” David Benner
When I finally let down my guard, got honest, hope came in. The mentors, spiritual guides, and others who God brought to me through His grace helped me heal and I finally learned how to “live out loud”—be me.
Authentically, confidentially. I learned how to love myself and others.
It’s been over 30 years since the journey began. And, sometimes I still want to do what I want to do instead of what’s right. And I suffer major consequences in my body, mind, and spirit when I give in to instant gratification.
I don’t ever want to go back to the way it was. When you have high self-esteem, your confidence is high. You know how to handle the set-backs in life. I work at this every day. I have learned what I need to do to live the “higher life”.
And, it’s the reason I do what I do–working with women to show them how to get out of the trap of feeling anxious, hopeless, wallowing in low self-esteem.
We work together to get them on the path to their best and true selves. And a beautiful life in the uniqueness of God’s creation.
Is it time to Take Back Your Life? Say yes to you today. The good stuff is waiting for you.