It’s a different Father’s Day for many reasons. The recent pandemic may be affecting your ability to see and be with your fathers (biological and otherwise) this year. Whether it’s traveling or staying safe by staying away, it’s a difficult situation right now.

It reminded me how much has changed since February 2020. And it reminds me of how much I took for granted when my father was with us, and we could move about freely with no restrictions. I was always so busy with life and those so important endeavors that mean little now in the big scheme of life.

It always seemed like my work or the five-hour trip limited my trips to visit him. I’d push all of that aside and take that trip if he were here today.

In those days, we didn’t have virtual communications. My dad wasn’t into technology except for the wireless headsets that allowed him to watch television without everyone for a mile radius hearing it too. He was smart, but simple, and never bought into the next big thing.

So if we wanted to see him in person, we had to pick up the phone and tell him we were coming or just show up. He was always happy to see us and ready to feed us– six of us girls and our families.

The special occasions—his birthday, Father’s Day, Christmas—we didn’t miss a chance to celebrate with him.

Those times zipped by too fast. As a boomer today, older and wiser, I didn’t realize how quickly at the time.

Thinking about those having to stay away because of the imposed isolation makes me sad. I hope that they will find a way to stay close during this time.

I can’t imagine not being with my dad when he went into the hospital, not having my sister advocate for his care in person, and not being with him when there was nothing more to do, and he came home with hospice care. We sat with him for two days at home before we let him know it was okay to go, and he left us to be with His heavenly father.

I pray for those who can’t be with dad because of the isolation; I pray for those who may have lost their dad during this pandemic with all the restrictions—who may have not been able to have a proper funeral; I pray for those struggling to decide whether to be with him right now. We do the best we can in these difficult times.

I know what my dad would have wanted.

Sleep disturbances, chest pain, pounding heart, ruminating thoughts, upset stomach, and feeling like insanity is closing in on you. These are the reports I’ve received from women since the crisis came in and knocked us off our normal.

The crippling fear that leads to anxiety can leave us feeling hopeless, helpless, and overwhelmed by the inability to control daily life.

Anxiety is long-term chronic stress. The ongoing uncertainty of what is happening triggers fears that bring on somatic symptoms. It can cause or worsen serious health problems—physical and mental. Scripture tells us that anxiety causes depression in our heart (Proverbs 12:25).

I lived a lot of my life anxious and depressed. In my alcoholism, I only felt despair, self-pity, and fear—that fear of waiting for the other shoe to drop. I didn’t know that the fear was a spirit, leading me to destruction.

Worrying about my kids, finances, my job, and in a loveless, sad marriage, I allowed fear to manifest the pain I was trying to avoid, relationships and things I was trying to hang on to and a life I was trying to control.

It reminds me of where we can find ourselves today. We are in this place of uncertainty, feeling the squeeze of our worst fears being manifested right before our eyes.

Fear is a spirit, a spirit sent by the one who comes in to taunt you in your vulnerability. It’s a lot like the news media who work hard to get out the bad news because they know you will be riveted (and afraid). They want to stay in business.

They practice the same torment that the enemy uses to scare you into believing that we’re all doomed. (John 10:10) The anecdote to the fear that come into our minds, crushing our bodies with its heaviness calls us to lean in— by the day, by the hour—to God’s love that “casts out fear” (1 John 4:18)

Perfect love is God! And as followers of Jesus, we have been given the spirit of God; it is Him working in us through that love that drives out the fear!

The spirit of fear cannot live where there is faith in God. He has given us power to overcome the anxiety-producing fear that keeps us worried, stressed, and sometimes paralyzed. (1Timothy 1:7)

Get in the flow of His Love through His Truth. Today more than ever we have to lean on the Word. It is our biggest weapon against the onslaught on our minds.

The rest of Proverbs 12:25 tells us that “a good word makes our hearts glad.” Ditch the fears and get into His word. Have faith, not fear; God’s got this!

 

Growing up Catholic, the Lenten season, which started on Ash Wednesday, the 40 days before Easter Sunday, signified the days before Jesus’ death on the cross as a sacrifice of His love for us and His subsequent resurrection from the grave so that we could have a new life, today and eternally.

For some of us, it was a time of fasting, restricting or sacrificing something significant in our lives. Limited in my belief and so immature in my understanding, I would usually give up candy, soda, or something that gave me great comfort—I found it painful on so many levels. As I grew older, drinking alcohol was set aside for the 40 days. As I said, I gave up what comforted me.

Although I do not practice the Catholic faith anymore, Lent still means a time of reflection, sacrifice, and new beginnings.

It’s a time of gratitude for Jesus’ resurrection and the promise of abundant life (John 10:10) and on our never-ending need for God’s grace. It’s another chance to make a fresh start toward total health and spiritual renewal.

This season, I am practicing the difficult discipline of not reaching for that instant comfort when I am uncomfortable–anxious, overwhelmed or fearful. As a recovering alcoholic, it’s not about drinking bottles of wine to quell my anxiety—it’s about the food I use to get the same effect.

Knowing why I do what I do and not wanting to do it and doing it anyway –you know, what Paul said (Romans 7:15-20). 

Every spring and fall, I take time to check my progress in maintaining healthy numbers, begin a time of fasting off certain foods and activities that distract me from a closer relationship with God and others and myself. I bring other women into the journey of Right Size, Right Life. We spend five weeks together uncovering those areas that keep us from experiencing the abundant life.

I have discovered that until we get our thoughts aligned with God’s will, our minds renewed with the Word, and then knowing how to live it all out, we will struggle to achieve health–in our bodies and spirit. 

And health is an inside job—more than what you eat or your workouts.

It’s a season of new life and hope.
Take Back Your Life!

“Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.”              (3 John 1:2 New King James Version)

Guest blogger Cat Brennan reflects on a well-known, well-loved prayer to guide us through the true spirit of the Season.

Deck the Halls! Away in a Manger. Silent Night. White Christmas.

Do these titles bring up wonderful, sweet, or warm and fuzzy thoughts? Do they jiggle funny thoughts of little ones’ Christmases? Or happy times making fudge and decorating the tree?

Or … do you remember ducking for cover when a beer bottle went flying? How about covering your ears when Dad came home late last night, and Mom wants to know where he’s been? Or wondering why Aunt Megan can’t come for dinner, and what is lockup anyway?

Both sets are vivid and realistic remembrances of Christmases past. Both happen in all kinds of families and in all walks of life.

We can’t change the past, but we can change how we view it. Going forward, we can alter how we react to these kinds of Holidays.

How? That is the big, single word question.

Look no further than the Serenity Prayer, penned by American theologian and writer Reinhold Neibuhr (1892-1971).

(For the full script, see: https://www.bibleinfo.com/en/questions/what-serenity-prayer#full-serenity-prayer)

“God grant me the Serenity to change the things I can, Courage to accept the things I cannot change, and Wisdom to know the difference.”

The prayer is actually longer than these three lines that is often attributed to AA. However, the essence is the same.

Wisdom.
Courage.
Acceptance.
And change.

The great man of the Old Testament, Solomon, is known for his invaluable wisdom. If you ask God for any one thing today. I highly recommend asking for Wisdom. She is a great partner.

Courage! Who doesn’t need courage when facing a cousin who regularly puts her life in danger with pills of dubious origin and alcohol in fearful quantities?

Acceptance. Your dad is a grumpy old man who is not going to change, so sit back and listen to his stories while you can. In between his grumbling. You’ll learn something and he won’t be around forever.

And change. Ask God to change YOUR life, Your attitude, and YOUR reasoning—even Your heart. He is so gracious to honor those kinds of prayers. Then, in the blink of an eye, you’ll wake up one day and realize that you’re no longer mad at your mom, or your sister, or that crazy high school friend.

The only way to a peaceful and joyous life during the holidays is through the Love of Christ. His mercy and His grace really are sufficient. Catch that beer bottle and toss it in the trash. Pray for your folks to find peace. And Megan? Pray for her, and the next time you see her, pray with her.

Sometimes we see answers to prayers immediately. At other times, we wonder if God was even listening. Believe me, He is, and He was! But remember, God must deal with that crazy aunty, silly sister, or the sick parent. He’s NOT going to snap His fingers to create change. He gave all of us free will, and He’s certainly NOT going to slap that person silly, even if YOU want to. God will work His grace in their lives and one day, you will see your prayers answered. In. God’s. Perfect. Timing.

Accept that He knows how to answer your prayers. Let go and let God be God.

About Cat

Cat Brennan’s twenty-five year career in Commercial Radio Broadcasting included every capacity from Ownership and Management, News to Sales, Small Market to Large Market On-Air personality, Country and Western to Top 40, Oldies to Christian Praise and Worship. Her last on-air gig was in Denver, Colorado where her nighttime show reached the better part of four states. Cat is retired now and enjoys her many grandchildren from her five wonderful sons and daughters She resides in Central Virginia, although she was born in West Virginia and grew up in New Mexico. She writes award winning short stories and is currently polishing the draft on her first novel, a cozy mystery. When she’s not writing, Cat enjoys crocheting rag rugs, sewing, and machine embroidery.

The hurricane that ripped up an entire island, leaving death and ruin in its wake will be felt for years to come and, for some, the sadness and pain will forever hold painful reminders of that day.

It’s difficult to prepare for large scale loss, waiting for the worst. You don’t know until it happens how bad it will be. And sometimes heeding suggested recommendations for survival aren’t enough. There is nowhere to go.

With this storm there was a warning. Predictions by the weather forecasters called it massive and powerful.

When earthquakes hit like they have at times in California, they just come, rumbling, swaying. What do you do?  There is no meteorologist tracking its arrival. Boom! It hits. And sometimes, as quickly as it comes, it goes with very little damage; at other times with destruction and death.

The storms of life are like that too.  Sometimes you can see trouble brewing.

You anticipate from past experience what’s going to happen. You prepare by making sure you have what you need to ride it out; or get out. You know how to handle what’s coming.

But other times you’re blindsided. Going along your busy life, bam it hits, you get cheated on or betrayed, lied about, bullied, or abused. You lose jobs, homes, health, and your dignity at times. And sometimes you lose loved ones.

And isn’t that how the storms of life come in sometimes, fast and furious?

On September 11, we remember a storm of evil we never saw coming—the unimaginable. In the midst of the incomprehensible tragedy, this country faced the beast and came together to rise above the literal ashes of one of the worst days in history.

America was never the same again. She was changed forever. And like the storms that come at you in life, as you go through the reality and pain of each situation, you are changed.

I remember a professor saying, “We are all a phone call away from tragedy.”

Sometimes you’re prepared and other times you will be caught off guard. The call that came one October night in 2004 was expected. It wasn’t easy to say goodbye to my dad, but the reality was he would soon be gone, and all of us would rally together, changed forever.

When the storms come, and they will, remember, you don’t have to go through these times alone. Reach out to God, reach out to others, and as the storm passes, remember you will rise above the ashes, healed and whole.

He gives beauty for ashes, strength for fear, gladness for mourning, peace for despair. (Isaiah 61:3)