Leaving 2016 has been a time of reflection. Looking back at the memories, the challenges, the pleasure and pain of last year shows me what I want more of and definitely what I want to be different.
You may have had a difficult year with illnesses, death, financial problems, family troubles, etc. My dear aunt passed a week ago and I made an unplanned trip to the west coast to celebrate her life with family and her many friends. It was a different kind of Christmas season.
As I sat among her daughters, my cousins, aunts and uncles at the services, my heart saddened but inspired by the legacy she left, it made me think about what’s really important.
“You are happy to the degree that you believe you are in control of your own life. You are unhappy to the degree to which you feel you are not in control, or controlled by other factors or people.” This is what Brian Tracy calls the Law of Control.
In psychology it is called your locus of control— when you’re operating from your internal locus you are making decisions and living life from what’s most important to you, operating from a place of freedom of other people’s plans (OPP).
External locus—outside issues, people, circumstances—like that job you want to leave, but you need the money, or a toxic relationship that leaves you sad, depressed, angry—something that you want to do but you feel that it isn’t possible, like getting healthy or a degree or certification. What are you feeling from this place?
We are born with an innate desire to feel strong and in control. The solution when we feel we have no control is to find out what we do have control over and what we don’t. Hint: we have no control of over people. Or unexpected, unavoidable circumstances. We can only control how we react or respond to others and the unavoidable or unexpected.
In Take Back Your Life Coaching I work with women who are givers…they give inordinate amounts of time, money, and efforts to others and usually at the expense of their own desires, sometimes even their emotional and spiritual health.
They feel like everything that’s happening is out of their control and the only choice is quick reaction, sometimes at a moment’s notice, just moving from one situation to another with no plan—this lifestyle creates conflict and over time, this is what leads to stressed out, burned out, out-of-control lives. I help women to get off the hamster wheel through thoughtful, guided coaching.
I don’t know if this is you but if you struggled in 2016 to get more control of your time, get out of your overscheduled, overcommitted lifestyle, please take some time to reflect on what happened over this past year and what you want more of in the new year.
Looking back will help you get a true perspective, help you in making future decisions, and getting clear on the bigger picture.
If you’re in the local RVA, join me as we look further at the power of reflection to get more of what you want in the Vision Journal Workshop on January 10 and 12. Read about the power of vision boards.
If you’re not much into resolutions or goals, perhaps you can make one promise to yourself; take some precious time to explore the possibility for a year of turning things around—a year of joy, peace, and fulfillment.
God Bless you and Happy New Year!