Setting Healthy Boundaries:

Getting FREE FROM OPP and other unhealthy entanglements

One of the most difficult lessons I learned about life was that giving, giving and giving without taking care of yourself, will not only leave you burned out from trying to consistently do all that needs to be done and whacked-out from the anxiety of trying, you will get to a place in your life where you finally give up and give in. You might ask yourself like I did, “What happened? Where am I, Who am I, Is this it?” Will it ever be any different? Any better?

Dreams? What dreams, I was too wrapped up in taking care of everything and everyone; there was no time to dream. And this only led to self-pity, feeling victimized, resentful—unable to see a different way of life.

This was the place I found myself many years ago. Living in dysfunction, my own and those around me, with no personal limits in place for how much I could actually accomplish and no personal limits on how far I allowed OPP (Other People’s Plans) to dictate my thoughts, feelings, and actions.

I began to extricate myself from OPP’s through the process of creating boundaries. Learning where I ended and someone else began. Getting free from unhealthy (sometimes dangerous) entanglements. Allowing others to grow and accept responsibility for their own actions, rescuing myself instead of rescuing others.

Boundaries aren’t something we “get.” They come from inside of us as honest expressions of who we are…Boundaries are the limits of love.”

~ Melodie Beattie

In coaching I have found that most times what keeps women from living a life by design, is this one thing—OPP. They believe there isn’t enough time—really who has time when you’re trying to go along with OPP. There isn’t enough money—maybe because it’s being spent on OPP. They’re too tired—OPP takes a lot of energy!

So, how do you go about setting healthy boundaries? It begins with self-awareness. STOP right here and think about where you’re at right this minute. Are you struggling with negative feelings, feeling like you can’t control anyone or anything (hint: you can’t), wishing others would take responsibility for their own lives? This is a great beginning. Now, do you want to change?

Are you ready to give your energy toward your own path of fulfillment, healthy in body, mind and spirit? You can learn to live with a new vision and a new hope. STOP right here and think about how it will feel when you’re doing life with new energy, hope; loving others and still taking care of you.

It was a tough road learning say what I meant instead of saying what I thought you wanted to hear. Twenty years—I know, I know, I was a slow learner. But, here I am on the other side of all the pain of trying to be what you wanted me to be, thinking that you would love me more or see me better than I saw myself.

I have a new perspective today; I see people as my teachers, the past as part of the lesson in getting to the place of healthy living. All of it taught me to lean on God and recognize the helpers, the guides He brought into my life to show me the way out.

And, because I am human, rest assured, it’s a conscious decision with the action behind it to walk daily free from OPP.

Are you ready for a change?

You can Take Back Your Life!

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